Seaside Dreams

Great Hyne. I woke up first.

I shouldn't be surprised about that. I really shouldn't. Squall and Zell practically pounced on each other most of last night, it's no wonder they're both exhausted. Most girls will tell you that having two boyfriends at once is a dream come true - especially when both boys know about it and are okay with it. I'm betting that those girls never consider that their boyfriends can have their fun between each other, though.

I'm not jealous. I don't think I could be, really. They're so...beautiful together. And I can feel the love between them, all the stronger for being unspoken. I am their Sorceress; of course I feel what they feel. On every level - which is why when they play together I can't find it in me to mind. Both of them found it odd, at first, to be watched. And by me, outsider and woman as I am, but when they realized that their lovemaking would draw me to them no matter where I was, and that I didn't mind - even enjoyed it - it became a game to them. A new game, to see who could drive who closer to the edge, who could hang on the longest, knowing I would know.

I'll tell you now - it certainly wasn't me.

They are so very beautiful together, tangled in the sheets and in each other. Zell, I know, is as honest and straightforward in bed as he is anywhere else - this is what I am, all that I am. Where he loves, there are no rules. No conditions, no limits. He makes enough noise for all three of us, moaning and crying out, but it's not funny the way you might think it would be. It's not an act, or a show. It's an expression of release, and it's magnetic in its openness and honesty. It pulls you along, takes you where he is, that knife-edge of control and ecstacy and the falling over.

Tucked under Squall's arm, curled against him in sleep, his hair far from its usual stiffness and spread in golden glory on the white pillow, Zell is as innocent as a golden lion cub napping in the morning sunshine.

And Squall? Just the opposite, as always. He never makes a sound, his face barely changes at all. If it weren't for the bond I might assume he hadn't even been interested, had only played along for Zell's sake or maybe mine. With Squall, what you see is never what you get; it's all locked away, hidden behind shields and barriers.

He is my Knight. I know what lies behind those shields, those barriers.

Behind his walls, behind his shields, Squall is a thunderstorm of emotions and needs and wants. So many that I can understand why he doesn't even try to articulate them; it would be hard to find a place to begin, even if he were willing to reveal that vulnerability in himself.

The only place it ever shows is his eyes. Roused, they shine bright silver as mine shine gold. But right now his eyes are closed, his body spooned around Zell's, his arm carelessly draped over Zell's waist. I wonder how they got that way; they certainly weren't like that when we went to sleep.

Squall would never openly admit it, but he needs Zell. As much as he needs me. Zell is more honest. In dreams, they can do what they like, and through touch the bond between them is strengthened. Do they walk in each other's dreams, I wonder? Did their dreams take up their fantasies when their bodies gave way to slumber?

Almost I laughed aloud - bad move, surely, for it would wake them. Of course they would walk in each other's dreams. Why wouldn't they? I'm only sorry I didn't join them.

Very carefully, I laid my hand against Zell's cheek. I can't read their minds, but I can read their emotions - and touch makes it much easier. Do you dream sweet dreams, Zell?

Almost, almost, the laugh got out. Dear Zell, that much romantic smarm first thing in the morning? I'm almost glad I can't see what he dreams - he's happy enough, in love enough, to float away on sheer good feeling alone.

I'm very tempted to touch Squall, but I know better. Zell can sleep through light touches - Squall can't.

And apparently Zell sleeps more lightly than I thought, for - eyes still closed - he turned his head and set a kiss in my palm. I responded by running a finger down his nose, and his eyes flashed open. One hand moved very quickly and grabbed mine, and he grinned. "Mornin', Rin," he murmured, and Squall stirred.

"Morning, sleepyhead," I teased quietly. "Sleep well?"

"Yep," he smiled, and he let go of my hand to run his fingers down Squall's arm - both explanation and reassurance, I think. Zell still seems to have a hard time believing that Squall is really here - with him, with me, and happy.

The touch finished waking Squall. "Mmmmm?" he murmured, sitting up on one elbow - leaning over Zell and watching me, and the hand that Zell was touching almost unconsciously laced fingers with Zell's.

"Sleeping in?" I teased him. "Dawn was an hour and more ago."

One dark eyebrow raised, though Squall wasn't really awake yet. "You two are continually telling me I need to learn to relax, and the first time I manage it you gripe at me?" he asked in a grumpy tone, though Zell and I could tell he wasn't really upset.

I leaned over Zell to kiss him, apology and greeting, and his arms slipped around me and Zell made an overly dramatic 'help I'm being squished' noise.

Squall broke the kiss to stare down at him. "If you'd left me more than half an inch of space on the bed," he chided, "I wouldn't have to hang on to Rinoa or fall off. It's your own fault, deal with it."

"My fault?" Zell yelped indignantly, and pushed me right out of Squall's arms and back onto the bed, hard enough to end up over me - and hard enough to bounce Squall, denied me as a support, right off the bed with a thump.

"Zell..." came Squall's growl from the floor, and Zell looked abashed, but I laughed and wrapped my arms around Zell, and gave him a sound kiss.

"He knocks me to the floor and you're rewarding him?" Squall asked, getting up and climbing back onto the bed.

When I let Zell up for air, his eyes were both hazy and bright. "Holding him still," I corrected, and before either man could say anything I caught Zell in another kiss. These two boys had their fun last night, and I felt it was my turn now.

Zell didn't seem to object, either. He tastes of citrus and ozone, electricity tingling on his tongue, and his body stirred against mine.

"I don't mind," he smiled. He is so innocent, somehow. Like every touch is the first touch, even when I know it isn't. He moved one hand over my breast, covering it, and teased at the nipple with his thumb until it hardened, as he kissed at my neck. "Pointy..." he purred, and I laughed.

"They do that, yes," I agreed, trying to sound unaffected. I doubt I did very well, for he laughed too.

Squall ran his fingers down Zell's back, and Zell arched upward - away from me and against me at the same time, and the Knight-glow flared in both men's eyes and probably I was right with them. Still arching into Squall's hands, Zell took advantage of the shift in his position to take my breast into his mouth - ah, the feel of his lips, where he learned things like that I wish I knew, it makes everything new and innocent and beautiful and I'm not a Sorceress at all, I'm just a girl, and he a boy, exploring for exploration's sake and the joy of learning. My hands roamed along his sides, meeting up with Squall's when I reached his back. Zell adored the attention, sliding against me just to tease as his mouth roamed my chest and neck, making pleased noises deep in his throat.

And then Squall pressed him down, onto me into me, and I -

I'm not sure why I did, at that point, save that everything felt really good and I wanted more, lots more, as much as I could stand. As Zell moved within me, I wrapped my legs around his and forced them apart, pushing up into him with my hips, and was rewarded with a full body twitch and a wave of blinding pleasure as Squall slipped slicked fingers into Zell and pressed kisses into his back. And I could feel it, feel what Zell felt, I had him and Squall's fingers working inside me, and I've never felt anything like that and I needed more. Or Zell did, or Squall did, for I was all three of them, pierced and piercing and separate and wanting. Zell's body quickened its pace in that cycle of want/need, his lips locked on my neck and whimpering noises coming from him and I couldn't blame him at all.

We'd never tried all three of us at once, but Squall evidently didn't feel like being left out. I didn't need to hear Zell's moan to know how it felt to have him there, sliding in, and for a moment none of us moved. For just a tiny moment it was the completion of a circuit, all three of us involved and feeding it.

And then Squall thrust, and it pushed Zell into me, and I let out a moan of my own because it felt like they were both in me, in me, and Squall was moving slowly, slowly, until Zell, frantic, moved between us in a frenzy of need, quick and hard, every move in any direction bringing new sensations from different quarters.

I dare anyone to hold on to their sense of self in the face of that feeling. I don't know who came first, but it echoed through all of us like a tidal wave, my cries echoing Zell's and drowning out Squall's sigh.

And then Squall bent down, over Zell who had tucked his face into my neck, and kissed me - the soft cool rain-kiss sending its own aftershocks through me, and through me to them.

"Good morning," he breathed against my lips, his voice as steady as if nothing had happened at all, but the Knight-glow in his eyes was very bright. "How did you know what we were dreaming?"

I didn't. But I'm glad, very glad, they included me.