"But I don't know the first thing about chocobos!" I protested.

Squall simply handed over the reins with a bland expression. "Next time, don't make a bet you can outrun my daughter," he said mildly. "You landed yourself in this one."

I had, too. My mistake, to think that even with the power of an ultima junction behind her, I could still outrun a very short ten year old girl. She'd bet me an afternoon riding chocobos that I couldn't - and she won. And now I was stuck - Squall had been more than happy to bring a few chocobos into the eternal realm for an afternoon - with Irvine's aid - just so he could enjoy watching me fall off the dratted beast time and again. He knew how to ride them. SeeDs were trained to work with every possible means of transportation, and Rinoa had had extensive riding lessons to further bolster his education.

Galbadia quit using chocobos in the army when the internal combustion engine proved to be a better bet. I only saw them from a distance on the chocobo farms in Winhill, and I wasn't in Winhill all that long. I don't know the first dratted thing about the creatures, and Squall knew it. I think he chose to come along just so he could watch me fall off personally.

"Quit fuming," he said quietly, so that Chwaer - who was fussing over her chocobo as though she were in love with it - wouldn't hear. "She's a child, and you're a newbie. I'm just making sure nobody gets hurt."

At least he was sensitive to my sense of pride. Without making a big deal about it, he mounted his own chocobo slowly - letting me see how to do it. I didn't manage to be quite so graceful about it, but at least the chocobo didn't squawk too much about it. When Chwaer noticed we were both mounted she hopped up onto the chocobo's back as simply and gracefully as if five foot vertical jumps weren't a big deal for ten year olds at all.

Hyne, she looks tiny on the back of that bird. Chwaer and her twin Cariad are the shortest of Squall's children, very small, very dainty. Little china dolls with black hair and gray eyes. She couldn't even see the back of the chocobo from the ground, but she was strong enough to jump to it. No wonder Squall wanted to keep an eye on us. I kept wondering how she'd steer the creature.

She noticed my puzzlement. Have you any idea how embarrassing it is to be instructed by a tiny ten year old girl? "You tell them where to go and how fast by moving your legs under their wings," she informed me cheerfully. "And you hang on to the reins to keep your balance."

"Tell them by moving my legs how?" I asked. How could she know these things? Animals don't exist in the eternal realm unless they're brought here, and they can't stay long. And only a Guardian Force has the power to bring living things into the eternal realm, which meant Squall and Rinoa - or Jian and Carolin, who'd taken a liking to the kids. Where did Chwaer learn all this?

Chwaer hopped back down off her chocobo and moved over to me, with the air of a teacher about to explain a concept. Squall's gloved fingers were near his lips - a sure sign he was losing the fight with laughter, and I could see why. Chwaer was acting almost exactly like Quistis. Then Chwaer grabbed my calf firmly in one hand - almost as high as she could reach - and demonstrated. She held her other hand at the chocobo's chest so that it knew not to move.

"This to turn left, use just this leg. The same on the other side to turn right. This to speed up, this to slow down, this to stop and this to jump. Okay?"

Squall's eyes are strange these days, amber gold cat pupiled eyes, but I'd swear they were sparkling with the laughter he was fighting down. And Chwaer was perfectly businesslike about the whole thing, too. I was positive you could fry an egg on my forehead, I was blushing so hard.

"She learned from Rinoa," Squall said in a perfectly level voice - and I envied him the ability to hide his emotions so completely. "Rinoa made illusion chocobos, in Griever's realm, for her to learn on."

Ah. Well that explains everything then. "And why didn't you do that this time?" I asked. "I'd feel a lot better about riding an illusion than a real thing that's probably going to try to bite my arm off."

"Because she asked for real ones. And she did win your bet, Father."

Okay. I can get my head around being 'Grandpa' to the little ones, in the same way I was Ellone's 'Uncle'. But it's still strange to hear Squall call me 'Father'. Not that I'm going to stop him or anything. I just wonder sometimes how long it'll take to adapt to not only having a son, but a son who's currently part of the strongest Guardian Force on the planet. With six kids who are my grandchildren. I mean, I had ten years for the first part and it did no good at all. I grumbled my accession to the terms of my defeat, and nodded to Chwaer. "Well, I guess we better get going. Where are we riding to, Chwaer?"

She pointed, and I know my jaw dropped. "You're joking. Really - you have to be joking. Right?" We were in Galbadia, and near the center of the continent are very high cliffs and bluffs. Chwaer wanted to go riding in them - lots of ups and downs and rocky terrain I wouldn't take a jeep up, never mind a spindly-legged bird.

"Come on, Grandpa. It'll be fun!" And with that confident statement she kicked her chocobo into motion, going at a full run for her destination. I shared a look with Squall.

"I'll follow you," he commented levelly. Unspoken but not unheard was the rider "you're more likely to fall off."

I was just about to say no way, not a chance in hell, when he made a curious clicking noise with his tongue and the chocobo I was sitting on took off of its own accord after Chwaer's. Some sort of 'follow' command, probably - and he got his own bird into motion behind me. I would have had more than a few choice words for him pre-empting my steering capabilities, except that I had all I could do in staying on the bird's back. And my bird quickly caught up to Chwaer's, who was slowing down to wait for us, so by the time I had a seat that seemed stable I couldn't use the words I really wanted to.

I'm not used to refraining from swearing in front of children. It's been a long time since I had to. So I was biting my tongue pretty damn hard to keep from saying anything. I'd swear Squall was having the time of his life watching his daughter lead me around like a puppy on a leash.

Chwaer wasn't underestimating a chocobo's footing, as it turned out. The creatures can apparently handle anything that isn't actually sheer cliff-face. The problem is staying on them while they're doing it, and more than once Squall had to move quickly to keep me from falling off.

That was embarrassing enough. But every time he had to rescue me, Chwaer would stop her own chocobo and giggle at me, and I don't think I've ever been called 'silly' so many times in my life, even by Squall himself. I was ready to kiss the ground in relief when we finally got to the top of a ridge, and Chwaer announced proudly that we had arrived.

The view was breathtaking. You could see the curve of the earth from there, and the distant lights of Deling City and the light haze over Dollet....you could see everything. It was being on top of the world, literally. I didn't mind when Chwaer asked me to lift her up on my shoulders - I'm taller than Squall, though not by much, but if there had been anything around that I could have climbed on top of to get a better view I'd have done it.

We stopped there for lunch, courtesy of Griever - which I've learned isn't quite the same thing as courtesy of Squall. He brought out a rather nice picnic lunch in a basket, sandwiches and fruit juices. And the nice thing about being on this side of life is you don't need to worry about insects. We stayed there for a few hours, Chwaer and I pointing out various sights to each other...and all in all I considered the reward worth the sheer red-faced embarrassment of getting there.

After lunch we rode around on the plateau a bit - Chwaer's a nut for racing, and having both her father and grandfather to race was a delight for her. She won, of course. Neither Squall nor I are as light as a ten year old girl on a chocobo's back, and she was an expert rider. At least it let me get the feel for how a chocobo moves on level surfaces, and I finally managed to get a seat that wouldn't slip.

When Chwaer showed signs of sleepiness, Squall put his foot down and insisted we go home. I didn't mind - it had been a wonderful day, all in all - but Chwaer turned stubborn, and I got my vengeance for the morning.

"No! We can stay here, all night, Daddy! The chocobos won't mind!"

It was my turn to hide a grin as Squall got out-stubborned by his own daughter.

"Irvine's waiting at the chocobo forest, Chwaer," Squall said with remarkable patience. "You don't want to make him stay up all night, do you?"

Chwaer clicked her jaw shut in a pretty good imitation of her father in a bad mood. "Irvine's a grown-up, Daddy. He can stay up as late as he wants to." Oh, Hyne, please don't let me laugh, please don't let me laugh...

"Just because he can, it doesn't mean he wants to, Chwaer," said Squall firmly. "And either way you are going to bed. You can ride your chocobo back down, or I can take them back myself right now and you can miss the sunset."

"But Daddy..." pleaded the girl, and I swear she was radiating pure innocent cuteness from every pore. I'm sure I was close to biting right through my tongue to keep from laughing, too. The twins have gotten their way more than once by using such tactics.

Not today, though. Squall crouched down so he was eye to eye with the girl, and said, "I mean it, Chwaer. You can be good and get to ride it back, or I can take them back myself. It's up to you. Rinoa has your dinner waiting, and you want to be able to tell Cariad all about your day, don't you?"

That got her. The twins are rarely apart - but Cariad's not big into chocobos and so she'd stayed behind today. Chwaer wanted very much to tell her sister all about the wonderful things she'd missed, and didn't want he father to deny her the chance. Still radiating hurt innocent cuteness, just on the off chance her father would relent, Chwaer got back on her chocobo and waited for his signal to leave. He looked over at me.

"Oh, I think I'm good to go," I told him - but I'm not as good as he is at keeping my emotions out of his voice, and he heard the laugh I was suppressing. It didn't improve his temper any.

"Let's go, then," he said, and signaled to his daughter to lead the way.